


A Jagged Ride with the Owl

by tptplayer5701



Series: "Mind Games"-verse [10]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, Dumbasses to Friends, Friendship, Gen, Hero Jagged Stone, Post-Hawk Moth Defeat, Principal Damocles Redemption (Miraculous Ladybug)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24185515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tptplayer5701/pseuds/tptplayer5701
Summary: Principal Damocles sees a skulker outside the school: "This looks like a job for... The Owl!"Instead, he stumbles across another Hero, and together they must save Paris from purse snatchers, carjackers, and a massive criminal conspiracy! Also, there's a rock star along for the ride. And a crocodile. Wait, what???
Relationships: Fang & Jagged Stone (Miraculous Ladybug), Nora Césaire & Jagged Stone (Miraculous Ladybug), Nora Césaire & Principal Damocles (Miraculous Ladybug), Principal Damocles (Miraculous Ladybug) & Jagged Stone (Miraculous Ladybug)
Series: "Mind Games"-verse [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666807
Comments: 15
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: The idea for this story came from PPKLS, who suggested a “short, funny ride with the Owl and Jagged Stone” after reading “Tit for Tat.” I couldn’t just leave it with the two of them, though; they really needed an “adult” to play off of. So here you go! This is the sequel to “Along Came Anansi,” so I’ll give you three guesses who their adult “chaperone” is going to be…
> 
> Given that this is about Jagged Stone and the Owl, there are also some significant connections back to their previous team-up in “Tit for Tat,” so I would encourage you to read both ["Tit for Tat"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968420/chapters/57648913) and [“Along Came Anansi”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24077389/chapters/57947866) before reading this story. Most of the connections get explained, but not everything.

M. Damocles rubbed his eyes blearily, forcing himself to concentrate. The bright fluorescent lighting in his office strained his eyes as he stared at the expense report for the next night’s governors’ meeting. He’d taught math for 20 years before becoming an administrator, but for some reason the budgetary figures were making as much sense as Egyptian hieroglyphics tonight. Perhaps he had spent too long staring at his computer today. Or dealing with unruly students: in addition to his regular duties, he had needed to discipline two lycée students – Lê Chiến Kim and Alix Kubdel, of course – who had been making trouble by racing horses in the hallway (where they got horses from was _beyond_ him…). M. Damocles rolled his neck and casually glanced out the window. His breath caught in his throat.

There, on the roof across from his office, a darker shadow against the falling darkness, stood a figure. He could tell the person was athletically built – even at a distance, with their figure obscured by the dark, he could tell this mysterious person could break Armand, his physical education teacher and fencing instructor, over one knee without breaking a sweat. “A skulker,” he observed, eyes lighting up in anticipation. “He does not look like any of my colleagues, the Heroes of Paris, so he must be a villain! But what could he be doing here tonight, so close to the Owl’s neighborhood? I must investigate!”

He looked over at one of his owl pictures; the owl looked back at him without blinking. “Yes, Albert,” he told the picture, “I know I promised Cat Noir that I would focus on helping people near the school… Yes, they _did_ say not to go patrolling and looking for trouble. But I am _neither_ patrolling _nor_ looking for trouble this evening; the trouble is right there outside my window, staring at me! And when trouble finds the Owl, the Owl must respond!”

He pulled the blinds closed before hurrying over to his map of Paris. On pressing a knothole in the paneling beneath the map, the map retracted to reveal his new Owl suit hanging on a mannequin. The suit itself looked similar to his original Owl suit, but with a more subdued logo and darker coloration. The ears on the cowl were much smaller than the original. Displayed around the suit were various collectibles and gear. Above his prized “Knightowl” comic books, he had hung up a framed picture of himself alongside Queen Bee, Impératrice Pourpre, and a then-depowered Jagged Stone, one of several photos taken by the press after the four of them had foiled an attempted robbery at a fashion show nearly two months earlier. Beside this photo was another, a selfie he had taken with King Monkey in the fall after the latter invited him to join the Heroes of Paris. King Monkey had a silly grin on his face and was holding up two fingers in a “V” as they had an arm on each other’s shoulders. M. Damocles took a moment to admire the pictures – proof that he had truly made it: he was a superhero!

He couldn’t admire his trophies forever, however: this skulker was not going to bring himself to justice!

M. Damocles retrieved the suit and utility belt, grabbing a few of his new Owlet boomerangs to stuff in their special compartments on his utility belt. “Ah, fits like a glove!” he commented, grunting as he squeezed into the suit and clasped the belt around his waist. “Although, perhaps I _should_ take King Monkey up on that offer to train together,” he decided. “After tomorrow’s budget meeting, of course.” He checked to make sure that his grappling hook and wrist-mounted fire extinguisher were both operational before muttering, “I must ask Pegasus about that electrified grapple gun cable.”

* * *

A few minutes later, the Owl ran down the school steps, stopping at the bottom to catch his breath. The skulker he had seen across the street was no longer atop the roof where he had first spotted him; for a moment he despaired of finding the criminal and bringing him to justice. However, a movement under the streetlight near the end of the block caught his eye. There! The skulker was looming menacingly over two people! He was going to attack them and rob them! The Owl took off at a sprint, racing to reach the scene before it was too late.

The skulker drew back a fist to attack one of the innocents. The range was too far for his grappling hook, so the Owl reached into his utility belt and pulled out an Owlet. He stopped running, drew the boomerang back, took careful aim, and threw with all of his might at the skulker. The Owlet flew over the skulker’s head and clanged against a traffic light. The skulker stopped mid-punch and turned to look at the traffic light. The Owl cursed his poor aim and raced to close the gap, heaving deep gasping breaths as his legs burned from the unaccustomed exertion.

As he approached, he finally got a good look at the situation. The skulker wore a dark yellow outfit that hid his face. He held a young man by the collar and was bending his wrist back to break his hold on the knife with which the young man was trying to defend himself. Beyond them stood a poor woman around his own age that the Owl recognized as living down the block. He could see the contents of her purse strewn on the sidewalk around her

“Unhand him, you cretin!” shouted the Owl, raising his fists as he reached the scene. The young man had dropped his knife, and the skulker had just released his grip on him, drawing back the fist for another strike. The Owl lunged forward and punched the skulker in the arm. He immediately retracted his stinging fist, shaking it to ward off the pain. Before the skulker could react, the Owl threw himself at his waist. The skulker yelled in surprise, lost his balance, and fell to the ground with the Owl on top of him. The Owl looked up at the young man, who was staring at him in shock. “Nothing to fear, citizen! Leave this to… the Owl! Hoo hoo!”

“What are you doing!?!” the skulker grunted, pushing himself – with the Owl still on his back – up onto his hands and knees. He leaned backward, and the Owl fell off his back, landing on his rear with a surprised yelp. The skulker stood up and turned to face him. The Owl caught a brief glimpse through the skulker’s mask of his eyes narrowed angrily before they grew wide in surprise and confusion. “Wait… you’re that Bird-Brain hero, aren’t you???”

The Owl pushed himself to his feet, placing himself in front of the young man. He drew himself to his full height, held out his hands to spread his cape, and announced, “You happen to be facing off against The Owl, Defender of Paris! Hoo hoo!”

The skulker scoffed. Through the helmet mask the Owl could see him raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, okay, Pigeon Boy. So are you _sure_ you want to defend this poor, able-bodied young man with a knife from the big, bad, old lady whose purse he was trying to snatch?”

The Owl dropped his cape and looked behind him at the young man who was even now reaching to pick up his knife. The trembling woman had taken advantage of their distraction to scamper and hide behind the skulker in order to get as far away from the young man as she could. The Owl felt heat blooming on his cheeks. “Oh, um… no, you – you go right ahead and you do what you were going to do,” he finally choked out.

“Do you mind?” The skulker glared at him.

The Owl shuffled sheepishly to the side. Before he’d taken more than a couple steps, the skulker took one step forward, planted his foot, and kicked the purse snatcher in the side of the head before he could react. He fell to the ground, and the only sound he made was the wet thud of his head hitting the sidewalk.

The Owl withdrew his “Owl-Phone” from its pouch on his utility belt and pressed the speed dial for the police dispatch. “Yes, hello, this is the Owl! I have captured – that is to say, _we_ ’ve captured – a thief! One block south of Françoise Dupont… You have someone in the area? Excellent!” Returning the phone to its place on his belt, the Owl turned to the woman and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Rest easy now, citizen! You are safe! No need for thanks! All in a night’s work for the Owl!” The woman gave him a skeptical look. “Okay,” he admitted sheepishly. “All in a night’s work for the Owl and–” he stopped and looked at the skulker “–what’s your name, young man?”

“Anansi,” she replied, scoffing, “and who says I’m a man?”

“All in a night’s work for the Owl and his trusty sidekick, Anansi!” He turned back to look at Anansi, only to find her stalking down the street away from him. He jogged after her to catch up. “So where to now, trusty companion?”

“For you?” she retorted, looking him up and down. “Retirement home, probably. Isn’t it past your bedtime? Now get lost, Gramps. Some of us have _actual_ work to do.”

“Ah!” He grinned and gave her a conspiratorial look. “On patrol, I see! Looking for criminals and ne’er-do-wells to bring to justice! I shall join you on this mission!”

“You’ve got bats in the belfry if you think I’m going to team up with _you_. I’m not like those fancy, colorful Heroes of Paris you run with. I work alone.” Anansi sped up.

“As do I,” the Owl replied, grinning broadly and jogging to keep pace. “Shall we work alone, together?”

Anansi stopped. “You _do_ realize that’s not what ‘alone’ means, don’t you? Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of smart guy?”

“‘Some kind of smart guy’?” he repeated indignantly. He drew himself up and puffed out his chest. “I will have you know that I am a renowned, award-winning educator! Er – I mean–”

“You’re a teacher,” Anansi said flatly. “Are you for real?”

“Um…”

She groaned and walked away, calling over her shoulder, “Fine. Whatever. If you’re tagging along you’d better keep up. We’re wasting moonlight, and we’ve got a lot of ground to cover, _Professor_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Owl’s new suit gets explained a little more in the next chapter, but he received a few upgrades courtesy of the Heroes of Paris (mostly Max/Pegasus) after he earned his “Badge of Basic Competence” in “Tit for Tat.”


	2. Chapter 2

Anansi groaned as she leaned against a streetlight, waiting for her companion to catch up. This was the fifth time in as many blocks that he’d fallen behind, and she was half tempted to ditch him. So why didn’t she? Perhaps she’d spoken a little too forcefully when she said she worked alone; though she would never admit it aloud – certainly not to Alya herself! – she hadn’t actually minded Rena Rouge and Carapace literally dropping in to help her out a while back. So maybe this wannabe-Knightowl copycat could make himself useful. Somehow.

“I really hope you’re not having a heart attack back there, Professor,” she called, turning to check on his progress.

What she saw almost made her keel over from shock. _Okay, maybe he_ won’t _be so useful…_ The Owl had stopped halfway down the block to pick up garbage! He’d pulled a trash bag from somewhere – probably that stupid utility belt; his type _always_ had stupid, useless junk in their utility belts – and was merrily loading it up with trash he’d found around a bus stop. Before she could think better of the decision, Anansi retraced her steps to stand right behind him.

“Exactly _what_ do you think you’re doing, Hoots?” she growled, arms folded in annoyance.

“Why, I am picking up this garbage, trusty companion!” the Owl replied, holding up the half-full trash bag triumphantly.

She raised an eyebrow and gave him a look (as best she could with her mask). “And _why_ are you doing that?”

His smile faltered. “We’re superheroes, aren’t we?” he asked hesitantly. “Doing good deeds is what we do, right, partner?”

Anansi slapped the trash bag out of his hands and grabbed his collar, lifting him off the ground. His cape hung limply from his shoulders. “Let’s get a few things straight, Bird Brain. Number one, you can call yourself a superhero all you want, but count me _out_. The powers, the super-villains, all of that? That’s not me. I’m out here for one reason, and one reason only: to find where the bad guys are, and stop them _before_ your Powered Pals of Paris get involved.

“Number two, is this _seriously_ what you think being a superhero is all about? Do you think Spotty and her merry band are out here picking up _trash_ all night? ‘Cuz I’ve seen them work. Sure they might get a group of people together to clean up a park for publicity or something on a weekend, but they’ve got more important things to do when they’re ‘on patrol.’ And come to think of it, I do, too.

“Number three,” she continued, interrupting his indignant retort, “ _We are not partners!_ ”

“But–”

Anansi set him down, released his collar, and turned on her heel. “You can stay and pick up trash if you want, Birdy,” she called over her shoulder, “but some of us actually have _work_ to do!”

Anansi stormed off down the block. She resisted the urge to look at her watch. She knew this whole misadventure had already cost her more time than she could afford, time when she _could_ have been staking out her latest target, a large building in the 18th Arrondissement that she’d heard strange noises from a few days ago; she didn’t need that reminder of how _much_ time she’d lost. A quick glance down the street in either direction confirmed that she was alone on the streets in this neighborhood. Or almost alone.

Heavy footsteps pounded on the pavement behind her. Without looking she said, “I suppose you want to tell me I’m wrong about superheroes, Doc?”

“No… nothing like that,” he responded sheepishly. “I… ah… I haven’t exactly… that is to say I have _never_ … um… _done_ this whole hero thing… _your_ hero thing, that is… that much,” he explained, fidgeting with the small owl ears affixed to the top of his cowl. “I tried it, you know, after Hawk Moth first appeared and Ladybug and Cat Noir arrived on the scene to stop him. Looking back I can admit _now_ that I – um – got myself into more trouble than I prevented, heh heh. Then Ladybug and Cat Noir convinced me a couple years ago – after I got myself Akumatized, I mean – that I should just _help_ people if I’m going to be a hero, do the things they couldn’t really do while Hawk Moth was still at large. So that’s what I did: pick up trash, carry bags for people, find lost pets. Take pictures with fans. People liked me. I was doing good. Ladybug and Cat Noir kept the city safe; I kept the city happy. Then after they defeated Hawk Moth, they invited me to be one of the Heroes of Paris! But I just kept doing the same things I’d been doing. I guess I don’t really understand what being a hero means anymore.”

Anansi let out a breath. “No, I shouldn’t have yelled the way I did,” she conceded. “What you do is good. People like you; you’ve got a hell of a lot more followers on Instagram than civilian-me does! But _your_ way of being a hero? It’s just not what I do. I’m after _people_ trash, not… _trash_ trash.”

“Then teach me!” He gave her an eager look. “I’m always looking for continuing education courses! How do you do what you do?”

Anansi was about to respond when a car alarm went off a couple blocks down. She turned to follow the sound but couldn’t see the car making the noise.

“You want to know about being a hero?” Anansi asked, taking off toward the sound. “Lesson one is to stop crimes when they happen right in front of you!” she shouted over her shoulder.

Anansi sprinted as fast as she could. She could hear the Owl panting as he tried to keep up with her breakneck pace. At the end of the block, she turned right, toward the source of the noise, and saw a dark-colored midsized sedan pulled over with two men standing beside it, one on either side of the back doors. Anansi had just opened her mouth to shout for them to stop when the shout died on her lips.

Something long jabbed out of the car’s shattered rear window, knocking one of the carjackers to the ground. As she neared the scene, the car door opened and a figure emerged, holding a long, thin object with a round base on one end. He raised the weapon vertically above his head and slammed the circular base down on the carjacker’s face, shouting, “That was totally _not_ rock and roll, mate!” The next thing she heard was a low growl, followed by a high-pitched shriek.

Anansi finally found her voice again and raced up to the carjacker who was still standing. “Hey!” she shouted. The carjacker took one look at her, dropped his gun in shock, and ran off down the block, tripping over a trash bag and nearly losing his balance in his haste to escape. She watched the man stumble into an alley before turning back to tend to the car and victims. But when she saw the man standing on the other side of the vehicle, her jaw dropped. “You have _got_ to be kidding me!”

Standing on the other side of the car was none other than Jagged Stone, dressed in a magenta jacket with bronze epaulets protruding from the shoulders. His hair was dyed a brighter shade of blue than his normal highlighted tips and stuck up in all directions. And in his hands he was twirling a microphone stand like a baton.

The Owl reached them and stopped, bending over and gasping for breath. He started putting his hand on Anansi’s arm, but thought better of it. When he had caught his breath, he straightened up. His face brightened when he caught sight of the man on the other side of the car. “Ah! Guitar Hero! What brings you out to battle the primal forces of evil on this auspicious evening?”

Anansi’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline under her mask. “Guitar who now?” _Every word they say makes less sense than the last…_

“Hey, mate!” Jagged called, dropping the microphone stand. A dull groan indicated that he’d dropped it on the carjacker’s chest. Jagged glanced down at his feet disdainfully. “And you deserve worse than _that_ for what you lot done!” He looked back at Anansi and the Owl as he moved around the car to join them, stepping gingerly to avoid the crocodile that was walking beside him with its tongue hanging out of its open mouth and its tail swaying happily. “The Owl, right? And are you lot out on hero business?”

“That was the idea,” Anansi grumbled.

“And who might you be, love?” Jagged asked, finally looking closely at her.

“Name’s Anansi. So let me get this straight: you two know each other?”

“Oh, yeah!” Jagged replied, throwing an arm around the Owl’s shoulders and grinning. “Owl and I go way back! Fought together in the First Rock Battle of the Year! Totally rock and roll!”

“We stopped a band of miscreants from making off with charity money!” the Owl added, putting an arm around Jagged’s shoulders while using the other to fend off the overly-affectionate crocodile.

“Of course you did,” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

“So have you been Akumatized again by our mutual friend, Impératrice Pourpre, Guitar Hero?” the Owl asked, examining Jagged’s outfit and testing an epaulet. “Who is the villain? We shall fight him together again!”

“Oh, no, nothing like that, mate,” Jagged replied, shrugging. “Had a concert tonight – just on the way back to the hotel when this mess happened. I actually commissioned this outfit special for the concert, after our last adventure. Made by an awesome young designer! Marinette Dupain-Cheng!”

“Ah! Marinette! Of course I know her! She was actually a student at my sch-ahem,” the Owl coughed, “at a collège nearby. Ladybug even asked her to design my new suit after our last team-up!” The Owl stretched his arms out, cape spread wide, and turned around to display the Owl logo emblazoned across the back of the cape.

 _“Marinette”? Alya’s best friend is connected to these two?_ Anansi wondered, raising her eyebrows behind her helmet mask. _Somehow that does not surprise me._ Aloud she said, “We _are_ out on hero business tonight, Mr. Stone, and we really should get going – at least if you want us to maybe _catch_ that other carjacker who was trying to steal your car?”

“That sounds totally rock and roll!” Jagged crowed enthusiastically, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Just give me a minute and Fang ’n I will come with you!”

“You’ll do what?” she asked, nonplussed. Her heart sank.

“I won’t be but a minute!” Jagged assured them, racing to the open car door. Fang plodded up to Anansi and started rubbing his head against her leg until she pushed him away. Fang moaned in disappointment – _how can a crocodile even_ sound _disappointed???_ Jagged gave the carjacker still lying in the middle of the road an enthusiastic kick in the gut and leaned into the car. “I just need me a weapon!” he called. He mumbled to himself while rummaging through the back seat. “Let’s see… microphone, soundboard, keyboard – aha!”

“Jagged? What on earth do you think you’re _doing_?” a woman’s voice shrieked from the car.

“Not to worry, Penny, love!” he replied cheerfully. He withdrew from the car with his guitar in his hands and a portable amp slung on his back. He spread his arms wide. “Off to be a hero again! I sense inspiration tonight! A rock opera: ‘Guitar Hero, the Owl, and–’ I’m sorry, what’s your name again, love?”

“Anansi,” she repeated in a monotone.

“‘The Guitar Hero, the Owl, and the Anansi’! No! ‘The Guitar Hero and His Band of Brothers in Rock’!”

Anansi heard the same voice from the car mutter something that sounded suspiciously like “I _told_ Marinette this costume was a bad idea…”

She rubbed her temples to soothe her growing headache. “Fine. Whatever,” she muttered to herself. She shook her head ruefully. “I’m babysitting _one_ cosplayer already tonight; what’s another one?”

“Come, faithful companions!” the Owl shouted, pumping his fist in the air. “All the Paris underworld shall learn to fear… the Owl! Hoo hoo!”

“This is going to be so rock and roll!” Jagged added, riffing on his guitar.

Fang let out an excited grunt and wagged his tail.

Anansi face-palmed. “I almost wish I babysat the _twins_ tonight,” she groaned, as something metallic caught her eye beside the carjacker’s prone form.


	3. Chapter 3

The town car pulled away from the scene of the mugging, leaving the Owl and his companions alone with the would-be carjacker. Looking down the street, the Owl couldn’t see anything to indicate where the other carjacker had gone. Now that he was out on the streets, hunting for criminals and ne’er-do-wells, the Owl couldn’t help thinking that perhaps he was overmatched. After all, these carjackers had been carrying guns! Marinette had assured him that the material from which she had made his new suit was tear-resistant and would even hold up against a knife, but he did not want to test it against bullets. However, he could not let such thoughts distract him from his mission: he must be strong for his companions. They must learn all they can about these carjackers to keep Guitar Hero and his assistant safe!

Anansi evidently had the same thought. The Owl nearly jumped out of his skin when she let out a low growl, radiating disgust with her body language. She grabbed the carjacker by his shirt collar and pulled him up off the pavement. Quietly, so low that the Owl could barely hear, she growled out, “I’m giving you one chance, cupcake. Tell me what I want to know, or you’re crocodile chow. Where did it come from?”

“Bite me,” the carjacker retorted.

“Don’t tempt me,” she snapped, shaking him roughly. “Either you give me answers, or I beat them out of you so you’re nice and tender before the crocodile starts in on you. Now where did you get it?”

“I ain’t telling you nothing!” The carjacker spat on her mask.

Anansi lifted him further off the ground and was just about to slam him back into the roadway when the Owl intervened. “Hold up, my dear,” he declared. “Maybe I can be of assistance?”

“Call me ‘my dear’ one more time, and we’ll find out just how far owls can fly,” Anansi snarled. Nevertheless, she released the carjacker to slump back to the ground. “You think you can get this dumbass to talk, go for it.”

“I shall! But first, what am I looking for information about?” the Owl asked.

“Everything he knows.”

“That’s a very broad category my de- _aring companion_!” he amending quickly when Anansi feigned a step in his direction. “I could ask him his favorite cereal or preferred aftershave, but I don’t see how that will help us. So what should I ask him about?”

“Ugh, fine,” Anansi grumbled, leading the others away from where the carjacker was blinking owlishly in the middle of the road. She reached into a pouch on her belt and withdrew a metallic object. The Owl and Jagged Stone both leaned in to take a closer look. “This is a lynchpin,” she explained. “They’re popping up all over Paris as some sort of calling card. So where did this loser get one?”

“A conspiracy?” Guitar Hero enthused, striking a pose with his foot on Fang’s back and windmilling his arm to strike a chord on his guitar. “This is totally rock and rock!”

“Could you say that a little _louder_ , Rock Brain?” Anansi hissed, grabbing the arm before it came around again. “I don’t think they heard you in _Russia_!”

“Why of course I can!” Guitar Hero declared. He took a deep breath and shouted, “A–”

“Rule number one of investigating conspiracies,” Anansi growled, pulling him close to her face and keeping her hand firmly clamped over his mouth, “is that you _don’t talk about investigating conspiracies!_ Now if I let go of your mouth, you have to promise not to speak another word about lynchpins or conspiracies, period, for the rest of your life. Nod if you understand.”

Guitar Hero nodded his head, and Anansi released him. He immediately started in on a wicked guitar solo, swaying with the music. The Owl chuckled – and Anansi narrowed her eyes – when he started mumbling lyrics under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “Guitar Hero and the Lynchpin Conspiracy.”

“I will turn that guitar into kindling if you don’t stop!”

“I did not _speak_ a word!” Guitar Hero protested, holding the guitar out of her reach.

“Very well, then.” The Owl turned away from his squabbling companions, rubbing his hands together as he returned to the dazed carjacker. “Let’s see what the best disciplinarian in the Paris Educational System can dig up from this delinquent!”

“Oh no,” Anansi groaned behind him.

The Owl squatted next to the carjacker and withdrew a water bottle from his utility belt. Cracking the seal on it, he offered the bottle to the carjacker before opening one for himself. The carjacker drank silently for a minute before giving the Owl a confused look and grudgingly saying, “Thanks.”

“You are very welcome, son,” the Owl told him. “Do you have a name?”

He mumbled something indistinct.

“You’ll have to speak up, son,” the Owl said sharply. “Speak loudly and clearly.”

“Denis, all right?”

“Very good.” The Owl beamed. “Now, _Denis_ , let’s talk about you. I don’t need to tell you that your situation does not look good, young man.” He chuckled jovially and put a hand on Denis’ shoulder. “After all, theft and assault are very serious charges.”

Denis gave him a look. “That supposed to mean something to me, old man?”

All the humor left the Owl. “Now see here,” he told him severely. “You don’t want to try my patience when I’m the only thing keeping you in one piece. You and your colleague were found attempting to rob a world-famous musician on a side street in the dead of night. The penalties for that are severe; why, I’m sure Jagged Stone would be more than happy to go along with my companion’s suggestion and let his _pet_ ‘take a bite out of crime’ tonight! You only have a couple choices in front of you. Option one: you can answer my questions right now, and I will put in a good word for you with the police officers who are already on their way here.” Denis tried to scoff, but the Owl cut him off. “Option two: you can refuse to answer my questions, and the crocodile can have a go at you until you tell us everything we want to know anyways. There are your options: you go with the police _without_ bite marks, or you go with the police _with_ bite marks.”

Denis held the Owl’s gaze for another minute before blinking and slumping back to the pavement. “What do you want to know?”

“I think the first thing we all want to know is how you came to target that particular car, my dear boy!” the Owl told him, chuckling jovially. From the sidewalk, Guitar Hero’s ears perked up at that.

“Crime of opportunity,” Denis replied dismissively. “We were on our way to the bar when we saw a sweet car driving past and thought it looked rich. How were we supposed to know _that_ nut was in it?”

“I see.” The Owl nodded, pondering. “Now, which bar were you heading to?”

“O’Shea’s. The Irish pub 2 blocks down on the left.”

The Owl examined his face closely before turning to look down the street. “Were you planning on meeting anyone at the bar?”

“Yeah, my friends Smiley and Chuckles were supposed to be waiting for us there. Then we were going to go to a concert downtown.”

“That’s all a very fascinating story,” the Owl told him. “A pity none of it is true. The only concert in town ended hours ago. There aren’t any bars near here; we would see the lights if they were. And I suppose that means that the carjacking we foiled was _not_ a crime of opportunity, but deliberate! Now, are you going to tell me the truth, or are you going to waste our time?”

Denis grumbled something under his breath.

“What was that, young man?” the Owl asked. “Come, come, you have to speak clearly and enunciate!”

“I said you remind me of my old math teacher!”

“I have no idea what you mean,” the Owl sputtered. “Now will you answer the question, or shall I bring in the crocodile?”

“Ugh, fine,” Denis groaned. “He’s probably going to kill me when I don’t show up tonight, anyways. _Yes_ , we were sent to target that specific car – not to _kill_ anyone, just to rough ’em up a bit. We didn’t know whose car it was until it had stopped and we broke the window so we could see inside. And then he was poking me with that stick-thing.”

“Why were you after Jagged Stone of all people?” the Owl demanded, paling under his cowl. “Surely your boss wouldn’t be targeting known Heroes and their allies?”

“How am I supposed to know that?” Denis retorted. “Do I look like the kind of guy who works for people who tell their underlings their _reasons_? The people I work for tell me to do something and I do it because I know that if I _don’t_ , or if I ask too many questions, they’ll start murdering their way through my friends and family and then come for me!”

“That’s good, you’re doing well now, Denis.” The Owl patted him on the shoulder. “Now, what were you supposed to do after roughing up my friend Jagged Stone?”

Denis sighed in defeat. “We were supposed to report back to the boss outside a bar called Le Napoleon in the 2nd Arrondissement. He’s expecting us around midnight.”

“Excellent job, son, thank you,” the Owl told him. “I just have one question left. Where did the lynchpin come from?”

“The boss gave them out,” Denis shrugged. “He never told us why we were supposed to carry them around, just that it’s a signature.”

The Owl squeezed Denis’ shoulder and pushed himself up to his feet. “The police will be here momentarily to take you into custody. I’ll let them know you cooperated. Your future is looking up again, young man!” He glanced back toward Anansi and Guitar Hero to see that Fang was waddling over to investigate. “I must consult with my companions, but for now I will leave you under the watchful eye of Fang the crocodile!”

“Wait… I thought you said you _wouldn’t_ feed me to him!” shrieked Denis as Fang lay down across his legs and rolled over to show him his belly.

The Owl strode over to where Anansi had cornered Guitar Hero behind a dumpster. She shouted, “I will take that guitar and shove it up your–”

“I have some information,” interrupted the Owl, looking between them.

“Wait, he talked to you, Birdy?” Anansi asked, surprised.

“Of course he did!” the Owl replied proudly. “I have never failed to get the truth from a student!”

“I’m sure,” Anansi answered dryly. “What story did you get off him?”

“Just that Guitar Hero _was_ his target, and a time and location where they were supposed to report to their boss.” The Owl shrugged.

“Huh.”

“Wait,” Guitar Hero interjected. “Are you saying that these loonies were actually _trying_ to attack me and Penny? That’s a seriously rock and roll story there! Wait until the press hears that! They’ll be all over my new album, ‘Rockin’ at the Law’…”

“Yeah, okay, Rocky,” Anansi retorted. “But aren’t you missing something here?”

Guitar Hero furrowed his brow in thought for a moment. “No… I already commissioned the cover. And I’m sure I’ve got the songs already set to go – once this one is finished, that is…”

“You were specifically targeted by carjackers _as part of a conspiracy_!” Anansi shouted in his face.

“What, that?” Guitar Hero asked, nonplussed. He chuckled. “That was nothing! I’ve gotten worse from my fans. You know, one time I was getting groceries right after an album came out, and a mob surrounded me begging for autographs.”

“‘Autographs.’ Are you serious? How does that compare!?!” Anansi demanded.

“Well,” Guitar Hero admitted sheepishly, “they were asking me to autograph clothing.” Seeing the skeptical look Anansi gave him he added, “My own clothing. That they had just ripped off of me.”

“You’re… you’re being serious here.” Anansi threw her hands up. “Of course you’re being serious. Why should I even be surprised by _anything_ anymore tonight???”

The Owl cleared his throat. “As much as I enjoy partaking in good superhero banter, come, my faithful companions! We must track down these miscreants and avenge this wrong against our good friend the Guitar Hero!”

“Right,” Anansi said, shaking her head. Then she looked at him and nodded approvingly, clapping him on the shoulder. “You done good, Professor. Now _never call me your ‘faithful companion’ again!_ ”


	4. Chapter 4

Jagged Stone – no; _not_ Jagged Stone tonight, it was too rock-and-roll a night for that; Guitar Hero! – was in his element! He was on the streets of Paris, looking for the people who had tried to hurt his Penny, and nothing was going to stop him! He threw his arm around the Owl, careful not to smack his buddy in the head with his guitar, and grinned from ear to ear. The Owl grinned back at him even as he stumbled under Guitar Hero’s added weight. Anansi stood on the sidewalk, looking suspiciously at Fang, who was still lying across the carjacker’s legs. Anansi, however, had taken one of Guitar Hero’s microphone cords and used it to truss the criminal up to wait for the police officers whom the Owl had called.

Guitar Hero threw out his arm to beckon Anansi over, and called, “C’mon, love! Paris calls!”

Anansi just rolled her eyes before turning and starting down the street, Fang plodding along behind her. The Owl slipped out from under Guitar Hero’s arm to follow them, leaving Guitar Hero jogging to catch up. However, nothing could get him down on this night! That evening’s concert had been his best one yet, and the night was just beginning! He was protecting his adopted city with his new friends, and he could already feel the inspiration for a new song coming on:

_Fighting evil in the dead of night:  
_ _The Owl, Anansi, and Guitar Hero  
_ _Evil beware, we’ll bring on the fight:  
_ _The Owl, Anansi, and Guitar Hero_

Without meaning to, Guitar Hero began to hum the melody that sprang to mind of its own accord to accompany the words that were almost writing themselves in his mind as the three heroes moved down the deserted sidewalks together. Anansi strode purposefully, setting a brisk pace. Guitar Hero hurried to keep up with her, Fang trailing behind them. The Owl ducked and dove from bench to streetlight, hiding behind his cape and attempting to blend into the–

“Everyone can see you, Bird Brain,” Anansi ground out, interrupting Guitar Hero’s thoughts. “If you’re trying for stealth, maybe you need to go back to primary school.” She turned to look at the Owl. “Next lesson: acting suspicious will just make people notice you. It’s better to just act normally. Besides, there’s no way we can really avoid notice tonight with–” she nodded her head in the direction Guitar Hero and Fang “–with us.”

“Oi!” Guitar Hero retorted indignantly. “I happen to know _exactly_ how to blend into a crowd!” He threw an arm around her shoulder, leaned in close, and said, “What? You think I’m the _real_ Jagged Stone? Naw, mate, can’t be. He’s sooo much cooler! I’m actually just his lamer-but-still-totally-awesome brother, _Crooked_ Stone!”

“Subtle,” Anansi deadpanned, pushing his arm off her shoulder.

_The Owl is fearless  
_ _Anansi is fierce  
_ _Guitar Hero, the best of the best!_

“What are you singing, _Tortuous_?” Anansi finally asked.

“What, this?” He sang a few lines. “Just a new rock ballad I’m writing about our adventure tonight!” Guitar Hero grinned, took a deep breath, spread his arms, and belted out at the top of his lungs:

_“Threaten the peace  
_ _and you’re a pile of grease  
_ _The Owl, Anan–”_

Anansi clamped a hand over his mouth and glared at him. “Sing another word, and I break your teeth!”

Guitar Hero scoffed around the hand gripping his mouth. She released him and he complained, “Some people just don’t understand the creative process.”

“Is that what you’re calling it?”

As they walked down deserted streets in silence, Guitar Hero started moving his head in time with the melody he could still hear in his head. But the song couldn’t just stay in; he had to let it out! He started humming, softly at first but getting a little louder. The Owl, walking by his side, hummed along, moving his hand to the beat. As Guitar Hero hummed, the Owl started adding some rhythm. “I should have you record this with me!” Guitar Hero told him, nodding approvingly. He stopped next to a trash can, pulled out his drumsticks, and started laying down a drum line. Fang slapped the light post with his tail in time to the beat.

_We don’t fear the darkness  
_ _We thrive in the light  
_ _The Owl, Anansi, and Guitar Hero_

Suddenly Anansi grabbed the drumsticks out of his hands and threw them down the street. They clattered on the sidewalk and rolled into the grass. Fang bounded away to retrieve them. “Which part of ‘avoiding notice’ confused you two!?!”

“Heh, sorry, love,” Guitar Hero mumbled running a hand through his hair. “Guess I got a bit carried away in the creative spirit!”

“‘Creative spirit,’ huh?” she scoffed. “Seriously, Rocks-for-Brains, whatever you decide to do with this ‘adventure,’ leave my name out of it!”

At that moment they all heard a yowl and hiss from the lawn where Fang crouched over the drumsticks. They all turned to find the source of the sound and saw a small orange cat sitting in front of Fang with one paw out, claws extended, and its hair standing up on end, hissing. Fang had his mouth open and tongue hanging out; from the cat’s bedraggled appearance it was clear that the crocodile had just licked the cat’s front. And behind the cat stood a lady staring in wide-eyed terror, pointing a shaking finger at the crocodile and just opening her mouth to scream.

“Oh no,” Anansi groaned, face-palming.

The Owl rushed forward, putting his hands out in a placating manner. “Do not fear, citizen! We are simply the Heroes of Paris, out fighting the forces of evil with our noble Guard-Crocodile!” Fang perked his head up and panted at that. “You have nothing to fear when we are here!” The woman stared at him in open-mouthed shock as he picked up the cat – the cat batted at the owl ears on his cowl and growled – and placed it in her hands before escorting her back to the apartment building door, holding the door open, and nudging her back inside.

“Wait… this isn’t my cat!” she shrieked as the door shut behind her.

_Rescuing kittens, protecting the cit’zens  
_ _The Owl, Anansi, and Guitar Hero_

“You’re singing again, aren’t you?” Anansi said, narrowing her eyes at Guitar Hero. She sighed. “Just keep it to yourself.”

_Anansi’s a tough one, don’t make her get angry  
_ _Lynchpins beware; she’s onto the conspir’cy  
_ _The Owl, Anansi, and Guitar Hero_

Guitar Hero thought his song was coming along well, especially with the addition of some drums and the Owl’s beat-box! But what he really needed now were the chords to go along with the melody in his mind. He smiled as he shifted his guitar around to his chest and pulled out a pick to start figuring the chords and rhythm.

_The Owl’s a softy, in a tight spot he’s manly  
_ _The Owl, Anansi, and Guitar Hero_

Suddenly Anansi grabbed the pick out of his hand and dropped it down a storm drain. “What did I say about keeping that song to yourself?”

“That was my favorite pick, love!” he protested. He started finger-styling instead. “Don’t need the pick anyways; sometimes it’s just a crutch for my guitar-playing genius!”

Anansi grabbed his shoulder and pulled him in close. He stopped playing with a yelp. “If you don’t stop, I am going to smash that guitar over your head!”

“But – but it’s a solid-body!”

“Good!”

When Guitar Hero opened his mouth to protest, Anansi put a finger over his lips. “If you could actually be quiet, you would see that we’re already here,” she muttered, motioning for the Owl to step into the nearby alley. She dragged Guitar Hero into the alley, Fang wagging his tail happily at their heels. “See the building over there? That’s the bar where our friend and his pal were supposed to meet the guy who hired them to attack you. Now if you want to find out who that person _was_ , you’d better be quiet so we don’t scare him off!”

_When the bad guy’s in our sights, we’ll knock out his lights:  
_ _The Owl, Anansi, and Guitar Hero_

As the three heroes hid in the alley, Guitar Hero peered around the corner to see what Anansi was looking at. He could see a man that looked vaguely familiar standing in front of a crowd of tough-looking men – the kind of men Bob Roth would normally hire to move the heavy sound equipment before and after his concerts. But when he saw the man standing in the middle of the group and wearing a white suit, he gasped in spite of himself. “Oi, Owl, do you recognize him?”

“I most certainly do!” the Owl replied, a little over a whisper.

“Wait,” Anansi muttered, “how do _you_ two chuckleheads know White Suit?”

“He was standing not 5 meters from me when our last adventure kicked off!” Guitar Hero replied with a shudder. “I won’t forget that bloke any time soon!”

“Well, we’d better not let him get away _this_ time!” Anansi called, racing around the corner and out into the open.

Guitar Hero glanced over at the Owl, and together they charged out after her, yelling wildly, Guitar Hero holding his guitar over his head by the neck with both hands and Fang plodding along behind them.

_The White Suit means trouble, we’re there on the double  
_ _The Owl, Anansi, and Guitar Hero  
_ _We’ll fight for the peace  
_ _The innocent we’ll release  
_ _We’ll defend our city  
_ _We take down the baddy  
_ _The Owl, Anansi, and Guitar Hero!_

Anansi was halfway across the intersection, the Owl and Guitar Hero several paces behind, when White Suit looked up at them and ducked behind his bodyguards. At that moment an SUV pulled up. White Suit got in the vehicle, and it quickly drove off. Looking back, the entire group had disappeared.

Anansi stopped up short, and Guitar Hero nearly ran into her back. She groaned in frustration. “They’re gone!”

Guitar Hero was just opening his mouth to respond when something struck the ground between them. The street around them was bathed in orange light and the world around them suddenly caught fire in a colossal explosion.


	5. Chapter 5

The explosion knocked the Owl to the ground as Guitar Hero and Anansi were thrown in opposite directions away from him. The wind was knocked out of the Owl’s lungs when his back slammed into the hard pavement. He blinked owlishly and waved his hands in front of his face to disentangle his cape as he struggled to force air back into his lungs. The pavement under his back shuddered and groaned. His ears rang from the explosion, but he still heard the metallic clang from the far end of the block. On instinct he rolled over to look at the source of the sound.

“Fear before Mecha Man!” bellowed the figure barreling down the street toward them. He wore a metal exo-suit that fully encased his torso, with struts and supports running down his arms and legs. Gripping claws mounted on his arms extended beyond his hands. A helmet covered his head, with an attached visor shield protecting his face. A group of men with baseball bats trailed in his wake. Mecha Man leapt into the air again, covering the remaining distance between him and the heroes in a single bound. At the apex of his leap, he launched another rocket from his back-mounted rocket launcher. This rocket missed the heroes but slammed into a parked car between them. On instinct the Owl pulled up his cape to shield himself. The car exploded, sending debris in all directions and bathing the intersection with orange light.

Anansi was already on her feet before the Owl had even begun to process this strange turn of events. Mecha Man sailed over her head, past the remains of the car, to land between her and where the Owl and Guitar Hero lay. Anansi turned toward them and shouted something to the Owl that he couldn’t make out before she turned away and charged into the crowd of thugs with a bellowed roar. The Owl quickly lost sight of her in the scrum, and Mecha Man blocked his view.

“I am Mecha Man, greatest enforcer in the Paris underworld!” declared Mecha Man, voice amplified by his suit. “All must tremble before my power or be squashed under my boot!”

The Owl shook his head to chase the cobwebs from his mind and force his ears to stop ringing, and lurched unsteadily to his feet. Opposite Mecha Man from him, he could see Fang nudging a dazed Guitar Hero with his snout and licking his face. “Ugh,” Guitar Hero moaned, rubbing his face. “I had the strangest dream, Penny, love. I dreamed I was running around Paris playing superhero when the world caught fire and some loony calling himself Mecha Man started blowing things up and threatening us. Pen–” He opened his eyes to find himself face-to-snout with Fang, and looked past him at Mecha Man in shock.

“This is no dream, my friend,” called the Owl. “It is all too real, and we must face this threat together!”

“Right, mate.” Guitar Hero, who had landed facedown, grabbed his mercifully-undamaged guitar and used it to push himself to his feet. Mecha Man started rotating his exo-suit toward Guitar Hero, who was still blinking and swaying on his feet.

“Hold, villain!” shouted the Owl, fists clenched and knees bent. “We do not fear you! On the contrary, all the forces of evil shall tremble before Guitar Hero and the Owl! Hoo hoo!”

Mecha Man stopped and turned to face the Owl, who gulped and blanched at the sudden attention. “So, ‘Owl,’ is it?” taunted Mecha Man. “Let’s see what you’re made of, old man! How far do you think I can throw you? I got €20 that says you’ll make it to the Louvre!”

Mecha Man lurched forward, reaching out with one of his clawed hands. The Owl dropped to one knee as the claw clamped shut above him, grazing the top of his cowl and nearly removing one of his owl ears. He rolled to the side, out from under the claw, as Mecha Man slammed the claw into the ground. The Owl crouched low, watching Mecha Man maneuver his suit around to face him once more. He backed away a pace, leading Mecha Man away from where Guitar Hero was still trying to regain his balance.

Mecha Man bounded forward and reached to grab him again, but as the claw reached forward, a long black cable snaked around that arm, caught it fast, and tugged it backward. It was Guitar Hero.

“This is totally rock and roll, Owly!” Guitar Hero crowed, bracing his legs and tugging back on the microphone cable with all his might, his guitar strapped to his back next to the amp. Mecha Man glanced back at him before he abruptly stopped trying to grab the Owl and instead let his arm swing backward. The cable fell slack, and Guitar Hero stumbled backwards, off-balance from the sudden lack of resistance. Then, faster than the Owl could blink, Mecha Man spun his torso around, pulling Guitar Hero off his feet and into the air.

“Ahhhhh-wwwwlllll!” Guitar Hero screamed as he flew around Mecha Man, eyes squeezed shut tightly. “This is totally _not_ rock and roll!”

“Hang on!” the Owl shouted, dropping to the pavement an instant before Guitar Hero flew over his head. He army-crawled toward Mecha Man, even as Mecha Man reached the limits of his spin and twisted to swing Guitar Hero back the other direction. The Owl breathed a sigh of relief. Mecha Man was entirely fixated on Guitar Hero. He was paying no attention to what the Owl was doing.

“Any time now!” Guitar Hero shouted as Mecha Man swung him back around, laughing maniacally the whole time. “I’m going to be sick and it’s all your fault! Faaaang! Heeeeelp!!!!!”

The Owl found a handhold on the brace on Mecha Man’s leg and pulled himself up, taking an Owlet from his utility belt as he did so. He crouched behind Mecha Man’s back and scanned the suit back carefully. “Aha!” he shouted in triumph, spotting his target. “Unhand Guitar Hero, you fiend!” He stabbed the Owlet’s blade into a servo motor on the back of Mecha Man’s suit. The suit immediately jammed in place, with Mecha Man facing forward. Guitar Hero’s swing stopped immediately, and he fell to the ground, groaning, in a crumpled heap.

Movement on the far side of intersection caught the Owl’s eye for a moment. Anansi was still on her feet, fighting no less than fifteen of Mecha Man’s minions singlehandedly, but she appeared to be struggling, falling back under the force of their overwhelming numbers. “I must help her!” the Owl determined. “But… I cannot leave Guitar Hero to face this miscreant alone, dazed as he is. What can I do?”

A low rumble emanated from a spot a couple meters from the group around Anansi. Fang had picked his way around the wreckage and now waddled into the crowd, growling ominously and waving his tail back and forth. The first two thugs he came across buckled as the tail struck their legs, falling to the ground. Like the parting of the Red Sea, the crocodile waded through the crowd, until he was standing alongside Anansi, growling and knocking criminals aside left and right with his tail. The Owl shook his head in disbelief, withdrew a pair of Owlets, and launched them in the direction of the melee.

He couldn’t watch the result of his efforts, however, as Mecha Man slowly turned his suit around to confront him. As Mecha Man came around fully to face him, the Owl raised his gauntlet and hit a button. Mecha Man screamed in pain and surprise as the stream of fire suppressant shot under his helmet’s visor and into his face. He raised his hands to try to wipe his eyes, but couldn’t get his hand under the visor far enough to do more than smear the foam around.

The Owl dove to the side and rolled up to his feet, narrowly avoiding Mecha Man’s blind stomping fury. “Can you not see?” he taunted. “Good thing owls can see in the dark!” He quickly realized his mistake, however. His eyes widened as Mecha Man lumbered around to face him and lurched toward him, clawed hands outstretched. He sidestepped away from Mecha Man’s blind charge, aiming wildly with his grapple gun and shooting the grappling hook. The hook looped around one of Mecha Man’s legs and caught fast on the support strut.

As Mecha Man lurched around to face him once more, the Owl ducked under his claws and ran around him, wrapping the grappling hook cable tightly around Mecha Man’s legs, over and over. He pulled the cable as tight as he possibly could. His legs wrapped up, Mecha Man could do little more than shuffle in place.

“Oi, Mecha Square!” Guitar Hero shouted from behind Mecha Man, who slowly rotated to face the new sound. Guitar Hero stood on the sidewalk, guitar in hand and one foot resting on his portable amp which he had placed on the ground in front of him. “This new song’s dedicated to all the criminals out there tonight: _Super Guitar Solo to the Face!_ ” He windmilled his arm and struck a chord as hard as he could.

The Owl’s jaw dropped. He dropped the cable and reached up to jam his fingers into his ears an instant before Guitar Hero strummed the strings. Even so, he still felt his brain melting as the massive sound wave slammed into both him and Mecha Man at the same time. He dropped to the ground, curled into a ball, and gritted his teeth. He could feel his fillings vibrating in his mouth. Despite covering his ears, the noise was still as loud as if he was standing in the front row of a rock concert, directly in front of the amplifiers. He couldn’t tell if he was only hearing the guitar, or if he was hearing his own voice screaming in pain.

Mecha Man, blinded by fire suppressant as he was, had no warning before the wall of sound struck him. Despite the guitar’s volume, the Owl could plainly hear Mecha Man’s scream of pure agony. He tried to cover his ears with his gauntleted hands, but could not bend his elbows and shoulders properly to reach his head. His helmet’s visor shattered as the guitar struck its resonant frequency. Mecha Man stumbled backward and overbalanced due to the cable wrapped around his legs, falling to the ground with a crash that even still could not be heard over the deafening roar of the guitar. The ground shook as he landed. Glass windows shattered up and down the block.

Only when Mecha Man was on the ground, rolling around in agony, did Guitar Hero’s “Super Guitar Solo” finally end. In the deafening silence that followed, the Owl heard car alarms in the distance, alongside the sound of police sirens, all drowned out by a low humming noise he couldn’t quite place, but which refused to go away whether he covered his ears or not. Guitar Hero sauntered over to the Owl and reached down to help him to his feet. He opened his mouth and said something, but the Owl couldn’t understand it over the ringing in his ears.

“What???” The Owl yawned to pop his ear drums, hoping it would help.

“–I said that was totally rock and roll!” Guitar Hero shouted, perilously close to the Owl’s ear.

“I prefer neo-Classical!” the Owl hollered back. Yawning did nothing to help his ears.

“Not cool, mate!”

“WILL YOU TWO STOP SHOUTING!!!!” bellowed Anansi, suddenly clapping a hand on both their shoulders and shaking.

The Owl blinked and looked around. Mecha Man was still lying on the ground at his feet, wrapped up in the grappling cable. A trio of thugs lay over where Anansi had been fighting, struggling feebly to move as Fang lay stretched across them. And up and down the street windows were flying open as angry Parisians stuck their heads out to see what was happening on the streets below.

Guitar Hero grinned up at them and raised his guitar over his head in triumph. “Bonsoir, Paris!”


	6. Chapter 6

Five minutes later Anansi sat on the curb next to the Owl and “Guitar Hero” – _Why does he still insist on using that name???_ The three of them were leaning back against Fang’s rumbling flank with their legs propped up and resting on the trio of semiconscious thugs that Anansi had dragged over to the spot where Mecha Man had fallen.

“So… can you hear yet?” she asked, turning to look at the Owl.

“I beg your pardon!” he sputtered at the top of his lungs. “I do _not_ have a beer gut!”

Anansi rolled her eyes and leaned forward to glare past him at Guitar Hero. He lounged against Fang’s flank, holding one of his detached epaulets in his hand. “Next time, you really need to aim that thing better,” she informed him. “You should be glad I was on the _other_ side of it this time. Just remember: if you break my eardrums, I break your everything.”

“‘Next time?’” he repeated, eyes lighting up in excitement. “There’s going to be a ‘next time’? I can’t wait, love!”

Anansi face-palmed, but was spared from having to answer when a pair of police cars screeched to a stop right in front of them, centimeters away from the pile of unconscious criminals. The first officer got out of the car, took a look at the trio on the curb, and opened his mouth to comment. However, Anansi saw the exact moment his eyes moved over their heads and landed on the crocodile behind them. The officer’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline and he gaped for a full minute before finally making up his mind not to question the sight.

“I do not get paid enough for this job,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“You and me both,” Anansi groaned, taking satisfaction from the officer’s startled jump.

The police officers carried the unconscious criminals over to the first car, pulled open the back doors, and stacked the thugs across the back seat. Once the three men were stowed, they turned to Mecha Man. Anansi stirred herself long enough to help the officers find and undo the buckles holding him into the exo-suit so they could shove him into the car on top of his minions. Then the officers stared down at the exo-suit in confusion.

“…What do we do with this thing?”

The Owl finally lumbered to his feet and wobbled unsteadily over to them. Anansi caught him just before he would have fallen over, wrapping an arm around his chest. He leaned heavily on Anansi’s arm. “Might I request that you permit me to contact Pegasus regarding this contraption, officer? He may be able to make something of it,” he explained, his voice still slightly louder than normal.

The officers looked at one another for a moment before they all shrugged. “Just–just make sure he keeps us in the loop, okay?”

“Absolutely. I–”

The Owl’s reply was cut off by a whipping sound over their heads. Anansi spun around as a yellow-and-black blur swung over them and dropped to land between them and Guitar Hero. Anansi stared, perplexed, at the blond high ponytail on the back of her head as the girl caught her top, grabbed both of Guitar Hero’s ears, and hauled him to his feet. She planted both hands on her hips, glaring at him on a level with his face.

“Jagged _Freaking_ Stone!” shrieked Queen Bee, throwing her arms in the air and gesticulating wildly. “Are you out of your mind!?! I have searched this city from top to bottom _three times_ for you! What on earth possessed you to run off tonight? Your assistant freaked out! Then she _flipped_ out! Then she ran straight to my penthouse and woke me up and _I_ flipped out! Then she begged me to go out and search the city for you because she was afraid you were lying _dead_ in a _gutter_ somewhere! Ugh! I’ve never regretted my identity being public _more_ than right this instant! Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! And what are you doing running around Paris in that outfit in the dead of night, dragging a guitar, an amp, and a stupid _crocodile_ behind you???”

“I–heh–that is–um–I was being a superhero?” Guitar Hero stammered, running a hand through his bedraggled hair while playing with one of the many tears in his jacket.

Queen Bee stared at him in disbelief for a moment. “ _Are you CRAZY??? You’re a rock star!!!_ Leave the hero stuff to the heroes!” She stomped her foot and started muttering to herself. “Utterly ridiculous! Why on earth did Max and Nino think you needed a _stupid_ amp that could be heard across a _continent_ in the first place? Oh, this is _not_ going to help Marinette’s guilt over making that _stupid_ costume. And Impératrice Pourpre? To think that she thought you were one of her more _useful_ helpers!” She glared back at him. “Do you realize she’s been beside herself with worry this whole night, trolling through twelve million people’s emotions for any _hint_ of where you might be? The best she could find was mild irritation wandering all over the city–”

Anansi snorted. “That was probably me. And you didn’t have to worry about him lying dead in a gutter somewhere no one could find him, Your Buzzyness. I watch my _teammates_ ’ backs.”

Queen Bee jumped at the unfamiliar voice and whipped around, top held up at the ready. Her hand dropped to her side in bewilderment on seeing Anansi and the Owl standing over the exo-suit, flanked by police officers. She stared at Anansi, furrowed her brow, and opened her mouth to say something, but shut it again. She opened her mouth again, but no sound came out.

“Rena Rouge knows me,” Anansi finally told her. She chuckled. “And now, I guess you, Crazy, and the Professor do, too.”

Queen Bee shook her head. “Rena Rouge… when I get my hands on that girl…” she grumbled. “Ugh. Fine. Whatever. I’m happy for you all. But if you’ll _excuse_ me–” she grabbed Guitar Hero by the one still-attached epaulet “–I’m taking _this_ one back to le Grand Paris where he belongs, and then I am going to bed!” She dragged him to the side, muttering under her breath and dialing on her top-phone as she did so. Guitar Hero yelped and barely kept his hold on the guitar and amp as he was pulled along, Fang waddling along in his wake.

Anansi and the Owl watched them in bemusement until Queen Bee’s driver pulled up and she unceremoniously shoved Guitar Hero into the back seat before lifting Fang and bodily throwing him in after, ignoring the startled yelp from Guitar Hero when the crocodile landed on top of him. As they sped off, the Owl cleared his throat and stammered, “I texted the number that Pegasus gave me. He said he would open a portal to collect this device momentarily to transport it to the Heroes’ Headquarters.”

Anansi nodded. “You know,” she told him, “you’re not exactly what I pictured in a superhero, Professor, but you’re all right.”

The Owl beamed. “And you made a fine teammate this evening, Anansi!”

She chuckled and looked away from him, down at the exo-suit. Something caught her eye and she did a double-take, bending down to peer into the space where Mecha Man had been strapped in. There, in the metal plating covering his back, was a long, narrow indentation. Without breathing, she reached into a pouch on her utility belt, withdrew a lynchpin, and placed it in the indentation. It fit perfectly.

The Owl had bent over to watch her work. “What does this mean?” he asked, wide-eyed.

She grimaced. “It means this conspiracy just got a little more exciting.”


End file.
